Osiris Nightclub Paint Party Failure

April 3, 2009

Paint Party Turns into Law Enforcement Gala

Osiris night club in Fort Collins has always had a bad reputation. By bad reputation, I mean they have lost their liequor license at least half a dozen times, but shut down completely only to be re-opened by friends of the previous owner another half dozen times. On two separate occaisons, somebody has been stabbed while I was there blacking out in college. The problem then was apparently underage kids were scooping up all the free drinks the adults were sitting down throughout the club. When I was going there semi-regularly at the age of 21, I was definitely “forgetting” my drinks so my underage friends could find and consume them. I did not care. The sheriffs would always show up and roll a couple kids for MIPs, etc. One of my friends got a ticket one time, but that equates to them getting in trouble .1% of the time.

Yesterday myself, The Don, Lunchbox, and the Ruffles went to check it out for a “paint and glow stick” party; effectively, a rave. The only problem is that Osiris does not have a liquor license now but invites 16 and up into its club. Ultimately, this results in very young, inexperienced drinkers to over do it. Like crazy! Being old, I assumed SOMETHING was going to happen, and when I saw some kid laying on the ground by entrance I thought to myself and said outloud, “Oh, excellent, some girl tries to die in my fucking club? Now they’re gonna shut the place down”. A handful of ambulances roll in slowly behind a platoon of sheriff’s vehicles and eventually the FCPD shows, and thusly the CSUPD shows.

They put this girl on the stretcher and literally walk her to the ambulance. These paramedics were in no rush to get her into that ambulance. Osiris never ceases to amaze me. Then, we see two police officers literally carrying some kid, whom looked 14 by, each arm across the parking lot. The kid could not hold himself up, and it was clear what was happening; the teeny boppers couldn’t handle their liquor and pills. Damn kids gotta ruin the fun for everybody! Once again, I go to to Osiris looking to make new friends with the craziest, sexy girls and a serious incident occurs. No more than a few minutes later some woman walks the down the entire line explaining that the party is shut down and to “remind your friends to not party so hard next time”.

Thank god our squad is all old; so we just went to Washington’s for the Thursday night thing they do. We got there at the perfect time because all the women had showed up just before 11:15, and all the douche bag guys wearing matching button-up shirts and fitted hats had yet to show. It was fun until said guys showed up a half hour later, overflowing the bar and surrounding scene with guys. The girls were drowned out by ugly, stinking meatheads and we left. Fort Collins is so awesome, thanks for the good time, Osiris!!

DodgeBrawl WordPress

March 27, 2009

Testosterone, Alcohol, and Competition

This is the wordpress for Dbrawl Muscle Team. Sure we have no business here, but we mean to change that. At least at some point. Here the articles will jump off, so I will prolly just type them up regularly. But don’t try stealing em. More importantly, here is where I tell the full detailed story of the Dodge Brawl incident, and the year before prelude of champions.

Not joking. We rocked the dodgeball tournament so hard the entire populace watching from the track was booing. Yeah. I would boo too if I knew the most athletic team on the floor was going to play as tough as we did. The Lakers, Red Wings, Red Sox all get booed everywhere. We were about to be the dodgeball dynasty. Who knows, maybe I will start my own league in some old office building. You can be part of Dbrawl Muscle, but its serious work and you gotta rep your hood.

Just a little paragraph about The Don and the way he begun the tournament would explain the fate awaiting us. The aggressive referee shoving Luckbox with two hands and trying to act bad. And, of course, myself. The attention-craving, crowd-angering, beer-guzzling lunatic; which is the Danish part of me. You can’t help behaving that way when you’re the nation that effectively is the nipple of Germany. The Danish in me usually shows up first, and as a result, requires the Italian part of me to stand up and regulate.

Oh, did I mention we had won this little get together last year? Yeah, I still rock my dodge ball champion long-sleeve. Perhaps something good happens and we end up with championship shirts. Maybe The Don will work over the management. We had to defend our title, we were not about to go out. Once.